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作者： Sam Song

分类：LGBT

I was born and raised in the West, but my parents are Chinese. And I am gay. I guess you can see the contradictory picture…

Despite my friends being very supportive and accepting of who I am, both my parents found it quite hard (and they still do) to accept my sexual identity. Having being brought up in small towns and villages, they both make a negative association to what is gay.

The afternoon I came out to my mom, we were driving home from school, and were having one of those heated arguments that a teenager has with a parent, where your parent never seems to understand you enough. When I said (or screamed): “I AM GAY!” the heat in the air suddenly vanished, the war atmosphere cleared out and pure silence took over for about 10 minutes. Yeah… She needed some time to process it… Those three words together must have been hard to understand, especially for a Chinese mother! Then, just when I thought that I’d finally got peace, she started asking a million questions about this gay friend I had, how he knew he was gay, how his mother reacted, but nothing – not a word – about my sexuality. I guess she couldn’t take it! She basically ignored my statement because she didn’t want to accept it. She tried to erase that sentence from her memory – and she sure tried very hard! – But she never managed. And even today, she either jokes about it in a slightly mean way or she provokes me. She once made me cry because I defended who I am, and she still thinks that being gay is wrong.